Fred, It Talks!
by Carrie's Demise
Summary: How the twins really got their map. ONE-SHOT.


**A/N: Okay, so I got this idea of how the twins got their map. So, I was bored, reading margotllama's "Rules of the Game," when out of the blue, my mind blared: HOW DID THE WEASLEY TWINS GET THE MAP?! Then I was like: "..Why not make a one-shot on it?"**

 **So!**

 **Adieu!**

 **-Carrie**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.** **or J.K. Rowling**

 _BOOM!_

Argus Filch spluttered and flailed as he ran from his office, his blue eyes bulging in shock and Mrs. Norris clinging to his shoulder. She was shivering slightly, her wide dark purple eyes slightly afraid. She was sneezing quite viciously.

A few moments later, a small voice came from the wall on the left of the office door. "Is he gone, Fred?"

"Cheerio!" a slightly deeper voice came from in the office. "C'mon in, Georgie!"

"Don't call me that!" the stone swung outwards, and out came a slightly dusty ginger-haired boy. He was coughing and glaring at an identical boy who had poked his head out of the office door.

"Come on!" the identical boy hissed slightly, glancing around feverishly, before snagging his twin's arm and dragging George inside. Immediately, George scrunched his face up.

"Did you have to let it off in his office?" He complained lightly. "Poor Filch." He tossed a sympathetic glance over his shoulder, but a rough tug on his left arm (and a response of "Don't sympathize with the enemy George!") sent him scrawling forward and nearly faceplant into one of the metal cabinets.

" _Accio_ pranking products!" Fred declared quietly, focusing his magic into his wand and curving it tightly to the right. Almost immediately, he was assailed by a mass of flying dungbombs and various things. Snatching the moleskin pouch from around George's neck, he ignored his smaller twin's protest of "Gerroff me Fred!" and began to stuff the pranking products into the moleskin bag.

One item made him pause curiously. It was a spare bit of parchment. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his twin poke his head out of the door. "What is it, Georgie?" he inquired softly, fingering the parchment in here quietly. Why would Filch have this in his office?

"Filch is coming back!" George cried quietly, before grabbing his brother (who had pretty much shoved everything in the moleskin pouch) and speaking to the wall next to the office. "Big fluffy puffskeins are the most adorable thing in the world." he murmured, before dragging his twin behind him and escaping in the passage way. Running after them was Filch and his cat, who was whimpering quietly and trying to rub her eyes with her paws.

George's heart clenched in guilt, and he tossed a large bottle of cat treats at Filch, before shoving the door close just as Filch came to a heaving, wheezing halt.

Later in the common room, Fred stared at his twin incredulously. "You actually feel _bad_ for Missus Norris?"

George glared at him indignantly. "Yeah! Leave me 'lone Fred! Missus Norris is just a cat!" he hissed. "She has feelings like us! 'Specially since she's a magical feline!"

Fred groaned and planted his face in his hands. "What am I going to _do_ with you?!" he moaned, forcefully dragging his fingers through his hair. Then he brightened. "Lookit! I found this in his office!"

George stared. "It's only a bit of parchment..Here, lemme see." The first year snatched the parchment out of his brother's hands, ignoring his indignant sound of annoyance. " _Aparecium._ " He intoned softly, tapping the parchment three times. Nothing.

He frowned, before waving his wand around the parchment and softly reciting a magic revealing spell. Then he blinked, flabbergasted as bunch of spells burned themselves into his mind. This thing was covered in them!

"It isn't like we can't go around saying 'I solemnly swear I'm up to no good' is it?" George murmured to himself, idly tapping the parchment in front of him. Then he scrambled backwards in shock and fear when spidery, black writing started forming on the parchment in front of him. " _Bloody buggering hell!_ " He swore viciously, his eyes wide in shock. "FRED IT TALKS!"


End file.
